I was walking along, minding my business, when out of the orange-colored sky...Wham! Bam! Alakazam, wonderful Barneys New York Co-op opened on the sly! One balmy April night, I waltzed in, more like limped in, as I fell off my bike like Saint Paul off his horse. I had on my new orchid pink linen dress, was feeling fine and funky then pedalled uptown to Rittenhouse Square against the sun with my white shades on, when all of a sudden I saw it hurtling towards me: a bright red fire hydrant! What was a cool girl to do but fall off, only to be rescued by two Danish tourists and a Japanese jogger.
Side story aside, I limped over to the new Barneys Co-op on the ground floor of a beautiful Beaux Artes style townhouse and took in the new store scent. They must have hurried the opening because the window mannequin had skid marks on her crinoline! Rows and rows of new designers on wheels in every trendy color and texture could be had, and they all had three initials for names: A.P.C., U.G.H. or O.U.F.
The striped floor-length dress was the one thing that drew me in: cashmere-soft cotton, clingy and stripey, like a lemur making a jailbreak. At a price that was criminal.
I'll have to come back and peruse some more, because at first glance it was no big whoop. In an economy like ours, that minimalist look just spells: recessionista.